


You will never be Ironman.

by Littledanceingdragons



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Depression, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Loss of Identity, Peter Parker Feels, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-27
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-10-29 00:11:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20787362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Littledanceingdragons/pseuds/Littledanceingdragons
Summary: Peter feels as if he's falling into shards." Mr Stark? "He closes his eyes, standing on the roof top ledge.----------------------------OrPeter breaks after Tony sacrifices himself.





	You will never be Ironman.

**Author's Note:**

> I might continue but I'm not sure? I mostly only did it because of this: https://youtu.be/masukri2JiQ (warning for feels)

Peter Parker stood on the roof. His hands remain clenched, the city holds its breath. 

_ Are you willing to step up?  _

Breathing uneven, eyes closed.  _ I am Spiderman.  _ Familiar. A prison but familiar.  _ Spiderman.  _ Who is Spiderman? What are they? Parker doesn't know. 

Slowly he flexes his fingers. Blood sticks to the side of his face, his lips quiver.  _ It's about legacy.  _ Peter spreads his arms. 

_ The whole world is asking me to be the amazing Spider Man but I don't know if I can be.  _

Peter Parker falls. Wind rushing past his body, his eyes remain closed. Ever so slowly as if he has all the time in the world he opens them. 

Again he flexes his fingers. This time white shoots from his wrist and he's swinging. 

_ It's a heavy burden to carry.  _

Parker swings through the air, light. The wind curls around his armour. Made by himself.  _ Hey kid.  _

Peter nearly falls.  _ Mr Stark.  _ Eyes watering he flicks his wrist.

_ I miss you Mr Stark.  _

_ Please no don't go! Don't go-Mr Stark!  _

Peter swings faster. Trying to outrun the storm under his skin.  _ Please.  _ He falls on to a building roof. Sobbing behind his metal cage. 

_ Mr Stark?  _

The image of his half dead body propped against the rock.  _ Even if you win the battle sometimes they still die.  _

** _They still die._ **

Spiderman shatters on that roof. Screaming, hitting the roof.  _ Mr Stark! Mr Stark! Please don't leave me here!  _

By the time he looks up there's two horrified people.  _ That's some big shoes to fill.  _ " My god he's just a child. " They gasp, hand to their mouth. 

Peter stares at them. Voice broken he speaks. " Don't mind me just your friendly neighborhood Spiderman. " His voice is hoarse, body shaking. 

Parker knows he sounds young.  _ I am young with the world on my shoulders.  _

** _It's clear to me you were not ready for this. _ **

_ I didn't think I was gonna have to save the world this summer.  _

** _Maybe Stark was wrong. Was he? _ **

** _When you can do the things that I can you don't-and when bad things happen they happen to me. _ **

He stands on trembling legs. 

" It's okay. I'll save you. " He sounds almost rehearsed. A line of a book memorized. Something to be repeated. 

**If you were good enough maybe Tony would still be alive. **

One line and Spiderman is on his knees again. 

_ Mr Stark I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.  _

Repeated again and again. Words so familiar he hardly has to think about them. " Kid. " His head snaps up, the man is kneeling in front of him.

Peter stares at him through haunted eyes. 

Trapped in a metal cage.  _ Everywhere I go I see his face.  _ Everything gets worse. A choked off scream escapes him, head falling back down. 

** _Stop you are stronger than this. _ **

_ But I'm not. I'm not strong.  _

**You are not Ironman and you will never be Ironman. No one can live up to Tony. **

_ You can't trick me anymore.  _

Just like that everything stops. His world goes white.  _ Trick.  _

" Spiderman? Spiderman! Oh god! " 

Peter lifts his head. " You rang? " He says. The man snorts shaking his head. " Are you okay? " 

Parker considers it.  _ Are you?  _ He stares at the man. Then he grins behind the metal. 

" Little old me? Absolutely. " Peter quips, giving his best jokester impression. `` But alas I must be off! Many people to save and so much to do! " 

He stands up. Pretending to brush the roof dust off his knees. Giving a wink before he turns and jumps. " Take care of yourselves! It's cold out! " 

He calls over his shoulder, swinging away. 

** _I may never be Ironman but I am Spiderman. _ **

Peter Parker grins. 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks!


End file.
